Why did things happen?

Don’t give up. Everyone has a different track record and challenges. Don’t compare with me. I have my unique way of living a life.

So I have my life condition and brain synapses and working. It’s not easier for me to fit in some box. And also getting on time is just a hard task. But I must do.

I can have my way to deal with solutions and I wonder why things happen like that. It does not matter how much I want something and tries it then It will fail.

I need education and knowledge to deal with my brain case from a messy past. I know I will keep improving. But how it will be, how can I deal with pain and bad stuff?

I need to make life happier. And increase excitement. But I can’t know if anything is happening exactly. I can’t also trust my brain. All things I’ve imagined and thought about were a delusion.

I only should trust physical reality in the near term. That’s all and there is no other way. It’s hard for those beliefs to shape them and not rely on facts and the first principle.

It’s the only way to deal with life with very realistic. I need to have motivation for the future. And that motivation
should keep me waking up.

But I need to have a routine that can work for me. So the discipline or any stuff is boring unless not motivated and not like to do.
If I like to do I need to live off life like good.

I just don’t want rules. I don’t want many rules. Doing things going to be harder if there are many rules.

But I can break rules and think and believe something. I just want to have people play live games as excitedly as possible. An adventurous and courageous and very individualistic path.

I know which is kind of hard to imagine. But I know It can work. I need to have ways to understand and make things done. And cut off past and make things done.

I don’t call them mistakes but I will call them to progress until today. I hope it is worth it being late and not getting rules and kicked
out of something.

But I will change rules and break them and make my path. Yes, there is always obstacle or odds against me. But I have to only work hard to achieve.

But I have to do some longevity and I don’t trust doing it too much can make me live longer or forever.

It just needs to right principles and maintenance. I think
I can channel my focus into something but the details or orientation can be any way the only way is just to read voraciously and getting know things.

The only path is this and there is no right path, there are only rules and things just happening and there is no meaning itself so only… I will read books more and actions can be taken with motivation.

It is just happening I don’t think I just chose my path, it’s happening and only I have my awareness that my soul is going and happening.

But I can direct my focus in a dedicated way and will coordinate to focus on things how much. So the only way is just to focus on excitement about the future as well-being as rewards and punishment.

Just focus and action will follow.

I just do not control my actions I only control my focus. It’s all about. I focus on future well-being that’s why I’ve gotten so much useful information. If rules are going on why not have rules to read more to me?