Like chasing something never known

I feel sad about right now. I can’t define what’s just happening it’s a really bad feeling.

I can’t count my self whether to be a universal master at everything. But I’m still trying to be like that. But I don’t know what I was doing in my past do I do just street wandering.

Does this have something to inventing or just wasting time?

I couldn’t say anything like white or black that I know. But I just can’t seem to understand it. I can’t know what is just happening. Because I don’t know. I want to play a hard rule and stick to it.

But I feel like failed and something happened. May that is just brainwashed culture of luck or stars are born or they are good of an intrinsic value.

I don’t really know…

I think there is something I can do anything and just not just waiting what it is like time-wasting.

I feel like I’m aging and the feeling about things are chained off the cultural standard and other views of perspectives on there. I can’t just say which age or something.

The natural size is just happening the destruction or whether I choose things intentionally for by wise word or everything is natural. But I can know things by reading and see from above and kinda I can go with it.

I feel a little bad but the even worse feeling I could imagine. My impulse and limits are really restrained I think.

What should I do with my rest of life? What things I can accomplish.

Can I become Elon musk at one time?

Can Be compete with him?

Do I just create the company recently right now? I don’t think so. But in my mind, I think It’s possible. But It’s not the way I could know. But I only know If I want I can develop anything.

But why should I compare? There is some answer I think for the social value on there.

I can write something or combining something. I think I’m combining with subconscious learning English by watching fighting and writing and physics are just to be fit on sports and getting exercises.

And listening podcasts. I want to just combine them and get channels through it. And there are some values I can go with it.

Only a chance to live my whole purpose or life is I should go through every detail of my life as deeper and narrow as possible then go through combining all of them and rise above crowds and just now become anything I want.

Maybe Elon musk or next Jeff Bezos or any trillionaire over multi-planetary stuff. Why not I just need to only combine everything. Drugs with fresh food and pain with enjoying etc…