How to get out of fucked up?

I Believe nothing it's my life and just doing programming and the nerd stuff at every waking hour, but one question is do I read books?

So Just like Elon musk doing as reading books and creating a company like every waking hour? Every entrepreneur try to manipulate things and say something, I don’t need to believe anything.

The thing I just need to do it in my own explorations and combinations and keep moving forward. But better to understand world there is most to read books and create data.

And people say solving problems are a business thing, but who said?

Elon Musk said the world is not just solving problems, there is need to be exciting things to do in my own life.

But he doesn’t tell not solving problems. But I just have to excite but the things solve is something will happening if I create something I guess It will happen.

I need to see the connections about the whole world my ignorant mind to just feel pain because I don’t want it that listening to someone suffers.

ut then I need to develop my mind enduring pains of others and instead developing in my own mind to do create my own world and creating something and be every day excited in what I’m doing it is my meaning at least now?

So I just hate the people whining and complaining and get their standard and follow for surviving but in the end, it will change and they will suffer. How stupid is it? And also For me never to be in any standard that’s why I’m reading books though.

people hate on chat I’m to speaking on a different standard and they are thinking its very bad its conflicted their belief systems. Of course, people are in the world mostly today are enemies of conflictions and survive.

But the free market does not care who survive or die. I’m excited about it because everyone can be live like an own way and innovating and shifting it not just take one label.

Always take challenges and learning. So I love this world today. But I have a lot of many problems happening to me and Just get something hard to solve it sometimes. But do I need to solve problems?

If I Can’t solve my underarm in my experience it will just kill over me. If I didn’t solve my smoking problem then I would maybe die for lung cancer to soon.

And If I were not a little lucky I would maybe die for my contact lens to prick my eyes to instances to blind.

Or something like that. I don’t know. If I work with dad and choosing the way of them as dad suggested to me the renting apartment.

And I will also not a problem with listening to their conflictions and grandpa blaming me as with him, so anything is very reasonable, and but I have not the time to sit in the computer to doing anything trying on my own anything on the internet.

And maybe I feel more depressed fighting the dad wifey’s relatives and more depressed and it seems like it will have never happened at own my perspective now. What the hell? Why it is so hard?

Why can’t the world be a peaceful and very excited place? I want to a different vision and not feeling guilty or blamed about my situations because of not about me, it’s about people’s are messed up each other? But what if they’re really happy but I'm misunderstanding they’re unhappy.

Shit….it only depends about how I see and perspectives and there is something about my mind is not adopting it the changing perspectives and my grandpa or they become something unpleasant kind of objects and such like my actions or behaviors sometimes to the same like me.

But it's not about my problems it's about their perspectives and programmed as from since they’re born, as same like me….so then I’m trying to impact the world to be different people are never divided perspective??? Really??? Am I kidding?

So I only believe now technology will something I must try. And shift my mind to the experience. And when I watching the youtube videos as old beliefs and habits of like something like there.

I felt very so curious while I feeling pain and sad about it far off my purpose and aim because those videos are related my past experience at reflected on my own mind after so dissatisfied and time wasted and feel very sad right now.

I need to just stop it what makes me sad and unhappy, and instead, do makes me powerful and stable kind and focusing about my current problems may be, but much rather I want it the nerds like make money or create something by my own hand.

It will help me by the way….But I have also the perspectives about dying for doing this and not caring anything besides that…because the things about around me are not the right or wrong and also mine is not also right or wrong. Its just happening and experiencing and take my journey.

If I’m taking my own world and creating my own kingdom and family members or any people around will reflect on unpleasant or satisfied and anything would be happening but I also solve in my own mind stable and it will seem like people around me like that often.

But I must give the advice just follow like this way. And be a leader to just say something for people it’s the way to do….and rather not afraid die…cuz I’m trying to do my own meaning.

And let them see it’s the way and keep coming growing and the people will follow me and I get increase probability that’s not necessary just its be solve their problems as a simple word its about just I need to do constantly.

But most importantly I need to read books and expand my vision then it will lead my path but consistency will happen whether I Just how to create my fundamental and connected the source power of any energy and universal code. So It needs to just be patent.

And I’m trying. And asking questions and educating my self. If I’m dying as now It will be the journey.

The power of things happening is just to keep expanding knowledge and keep going.

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