So I’ve been feeling fucked up. But feel excited and thrived. And feeling like wasting time and doing sometimes wasting time and burn me and have to get info war and make war for the progress no matter what and
who is it?
I will really do like I’m losing but then surprise. And use the strategy of the art of war when appearing strong appear weak.
So then I don’t have to tell them what I know or don’t know anything matter is no explanation or expression. Just let them make the move and adapt to their movement.
Damn my blurry eyes. I’m on personal development. But it’s very hard for those ideas and perspectives to balance.
I’m trying to write because I can’t lose myself really. There is only one way to do things like gaming or something and make anything to convert into gaming that’s the way I can go.
I guess it’s very important to flow as the matter for life.
Why I love games those are a really important part of progress and humanity and make it live more purposeful inside brain and use it for real life experience.
But if I play as a game that’s not useful but if I do that use it and know how it works but in real life really not working then I have to mix it to the real world. That's what I want. So play a real-life game.
So don’t fucked up. Again it’s not the snake and oil stuff. I may be say nothing about this. I really like to hack things always as a making a choice rapidly. But it’s right unless not pay to the long expense. I can’t hold it so well…
I did sleep hours but nothing urge to sleep. And getting a cold shower for forty seconds and doing Wim Hof breathing exercises for around twenty minutes. it’s the first time I feel my body temperature rising in the extremely cold shower.
I’m aware of anything. And there are just too many…
So just a little bit see back. What really happens in the age of the past centuries?
Does it really exist like power was conquering all over the world? Even
that’s true in the modern world, not the warriors will conquer. Only the nerds like those guys will conquer.
The old rule does not work now but it can be seen those people through past. I have to see a different perspective and expanding my mind through something is very crucial.
Or AI. People should progress but weak people are more count to strong people that’s how the world runs…
I’m very serious believe me. And go on…
I’m just getting suffer much of this, and happening through until make it and times are now…And just I have to shhhh at this point. So let me tell you why.
Hey, don’t make mistake for attaching the wrong thing. The pleasure of secondary things who sell will destroy in the no meaning.
You think what is meaningful and if you think anything than objects is meaningful then describes it why. Or nothing more than social kind and mind that emotional case.
So work for only society and common collectiveness. So then…
So what is about the story about me was like I’m deluded my life of the past of many differences in life. But it can be well worth it after. Why?
Because I had a little resourcefulness in my earlier childhood to late adolescence.
So the things happened to me as I was just a street wanderer with a tiny amount of family cares and no talk to me of rejections and punished many times wander on the streets.
So that was horrible if you read to me if I have every week sometimes twice in weeks to me…
So I have goals with things so I need to have better things and goals to do. So I learned how to make that habit going.
So I need to write every night my goals and my intentions and what happened instead of beat myself.
So I realized why I couldn't change my habits and not understanding or being not resourceful is very harmful to some people especially it is very harmful in the modern world. So I must plan and make things work there.
Today is a very different world my parents and grandparents. …
Just being very balanced, never try to do like black and white it will eat. And it’s time to know change my mind completely. And set a different way.
And also I want to do plan and make it steps by step to starting small but not try to perfect. And becoming like a learning machine.
Like I want to learn the areas of relationship and socializing and programming, and getting many skills as possible, oops…In my mind happened at all…
I want to also learn public speaking and being a vampire as a younger or meditating and enlightening all…
I feel sad about right now. I can’t define what’s just happening it’s a really bad feeling.
I can’t count my self whether to be a universal master at everything. But I’m still trying to be like that. But I don’t know what I was doing in my past do I do just street wandering.
Does this have something to inventing or just wasting time?
I couldn’t say anything like white or black that I know. But I just can’t seem to understand it. I can’t know what is just happening. Because I don’t know. …
I really feel bad about things right now. I must wake up earlier than anyone and count my life purpose. And not follow the path parents or someone tells me what to do.
I must fuck the world hardly and beat it until it makes it. There is no other chance to persistently beat the world harder. They said seriously to hold the kid in the morning that’s important.
It is very different from what I expected to do and I just must find the way I must get through it, and figure out the pattern on how to make…